Posted 6 days ago

fuckyeahfeminists:

safety-officer-barto:

why does tumblr always personify introversion as a tiny cute girl who drinks tea reads books and wears sweaters like i’m a 190 pound man who hangs out in the gym and in the woods doin manly shit but people still make me nervous like damn

Love this. Introversion comes in all shapes and sizes.

Posted 6 days ago

season 8 + dean being annoyingly adorable

Posted 6 days ago
Posted 6 days ago

thediggles:

WE´RE GONNA GET TO SEE HAWKEYE, ACTUAL HAWKEYE NOT BRAINWASHED HAWKEYE, HANGING OUT WITH THE AVENGERS BEING A LITTLE SHIT. HE´S GONNA BE SUCH A LITTLE SHIT.

Posted 6 days ago

heartbeat-lullaby:

entropicchaosfactor:

"But that’s not really sex then, if there’s no penis…"

Okay, so if a guy fucks you for 5 minutes and shoots out some gross white baby serum and you successfully lay there and feel little to nothing, that’s sex

But if a girl fingers/rubs/licks me for 20 minutes and I have a 60 second orgasm, it’s not sex?

I just want you to think long and hard about your sex life before you ask about mine.

The feels for this text post right now

Posted 6 days ago

rhymeswithchelsea:

takealookatyourlife:

Rape prevention tip: use the buddy system! If you’re not able to stop yourself from sexually assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you’re in public!

this one’s my personal favorite.

(Source: takealookatyourlife)

Posted 6 days ago

brigwife:

ohmywizardgodawhovian:

just expressing my anger

you forgot the most important one of all

image

Posted 6 days ago

t1m3l0rdh4nj1:

Having a pet is so weird. Like neither of you speak each other’s language and yet you form some strong bond by rubbing against each other and sleeping together and you might accidentally kick them in the face or step on their tail once in a while but at the end of the day you two are best buddies from entirely different species.

Posted 6 days ago

A Study in Pink: a Humorous Summary

  1. SUDDENLY GUNS
  2. Viewers: fuck where did that come from -
  3. John: nightmares oh god
  4. John:
  5. John:
  6. John: I fucking hate my life.
  7. Therapist: Have you been writing in your therupatic diary like I told you to?
  8. John: MY EYES AREN'T GLISTENING WITH THE GHOST OF MY PAST
  9. Mike: hey gurl hey
  10. John: shitit'sthatguydon'tmakeeyecontact
  11. Mike: HEY GURL HEY
  12. John: Ohhh hi didn't see you there -
  13. Mike: LOL GURL SO HOW U BIN, HOW'S LIFE?
  14. John: I'm thirty-five, single, unemployed, skint, and I've got anxiety problems of some description and a limp.
  15. Mike: GURL THAT'S SO RAVEN
  16. John: what
  17. Mike: what
  18. John:
  19. Mike: let me hook you up, man
  20. ~MEANWHILE~
  21. Sherlock: I love the smell of dead bodies in the morning
  22. Molly: I love your face
  23. Sherlock: Yes, thank you, I would like you to serve me some coffee, how thoughtful
  24. Molly:
  25. Molly: ok.
  26. ~UPSTAIRS~
  27. John: What are these new fang-dangly things they didn't have them in my day
  28. Mike: that's a computer, John
  29. Sherlock: Mike give me your phone
  30. Mike: Do you know how at wildlife parks and stuff they don't let you feed the animals partly so that the animals don't get reliant on being fed by humans and then stop foraging for their own food?
  31. Sherlock:
  32. John: use mine.
  33. Mike: This is John Watson. havethesexwithhim.
  34. John and Sherlock: what
  35. Mike: what
  36. Sherlock: -text it- Afghanistan or Iraq?
  37. John: the fuck -
  38. Sherlock: smoothly interrupting you to casually accept fangirl-made coffee
  39. Sherlock: hey molly
  40. Sherlock: thank you for offering to make me this delicious coffee
  41. Sherlock: -sips- mnn, tangy
  42. Sherlock: you look ugly without makeup
  43. Molly:
  44. Sherlock: bye
  45. Molly: ok.
  46. Sherlock: We should be flatmates
  47. John: what
  48. Sherlock: I'll meet you at the flat ok
  49. John: what
  50. Sherlock: Goodbye Mr Army Doctor from afghanistan
  51. Sherlock: say hi to your alcoholic brother for me
  52. Sherlock: nice psychosomatic limp you got there
  53. John: WHAT
  54. Sherlock: Sherlock Holmes, 221b Baker St, exit stage left
  55. Mike: ain't he so raven
  56. ~LATER~
  57. Sherlock: Check out the flat ain't it pretty don't you like it John, you must like it, I can clean up, look I'm cleaning up say you'll live with me say it
  58. Mrs Hudson: You guys are such a cute couple
  59. John: what, no
  60. Lestrade: There's been a murder
  61. Sherlock: HOORAY
  62. Sherlock: come and see dead bodies with me, John
  63. John: I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING BUT I THINK I LIKE IT
  64. ~CRIME SCENE~
  65. Sally: freak
  66. Sherlock: lol you're blowing one of the forensic team
  67. Anderson: fuk u shercock u dick
  68. Sherlock: i know you are i said you are but what am i
  69. Body: pink
  70. Sherlock: John what's your professional doctor's opinion.
  71. John: ... yup she's dead.
  72. Sherlock: DEDUCTING
  73. John:
  74. John: amazing brilliant fantastic
  75. Sherlock: omg relyy
  76. John: boy u mighty fine
  77. Lestrade: I'm standing in the room still
  78. Sherlock: lol you're all idiots I am the only one who sees the truth
  79. Lestrade and John: what
  80. Sherlock: laterz
  81. ~AND THEN~
  82. Phones: ringing
  83. security cameras: spinning
  84. John: the fuck is this
  85. Mycroft: hey gurl
  86. John: the fuck are you
  87. Mycroft: I am suggestively frightening and I'm sherlock's arch enemy, my name begins with M, can you guess who I am
  88. John: modesty?
  89. Mycroft: gurl I like you
  90. Sherlock: URGENT URGENT COME HOME AT ONCE THERE IS AN URGENCY
  91. ~221B~
  92. Sherlock: Pass me my phone.
  93. John: you
  94. John: you texted me to
  95. Sherlock: and send a text please k thanks
  96. John: Fuck you sideways, man
  97. Sherlock: love you too
  98. John: what
  99. Sherlock:
  100. Sherlock: come to dinner?
  101. ~ANGELO'S~
  102. Angelo: you're such a cute gay couple
  103. John: what, no
  104. Angelo: So very cute and gay
  105. John: no, sherlock, say something, tell him we're not gay
  106. Angelo: I'll get some candles to set the mood to SEXY TIMES
  107. John: NO DON'T GET CANDLES
  108. Angelo: YOU'RE GAY
  109. John: Why do I have an ominous feeling that this is going to happen again? Like reverse deja vu?
  110. Sherlock: Keep an eye out for murderers 'kay
  111. John: So er ... got a girlfriend? Or a ... boyfriend?
  112. Sherlock:
  113. Sherlock: uh ... John ... look, it's very flattering and all but I'm taken
  114. John: no -
  115. Sherlock: My work is a jealous lover
  116. John: no - what? I don't even want to consider how a relationship with investigating dead bodies works - no, I wasn't - no - I'M NOT GAY!
  117. Sherlock: right.
  118. John: right.
  119. Sherlock: okay then.
  120. John: yes.
  121. Sherlock: SUSPECT AT TWO O'CLOCK
  122. ~ROOFTOP CAR CHASE~
  123. John: shit that was funny
  124. Sherlock: I know right
  125. Lestrade: DRUGS BUST PARTY AT 221B
  126. Sherlock: THE FUCK IS GOING ON
  127. John: wait drugs lol what
  128. Sherlock: ~gaze~
  129. John: ~gaze~
  130. Lestrade: THERE ARE PEOPLE STANDING IN THIS ROOM
  131. Sherlock: DEDUCTING
  132. Mrs Hudson: TAXI
  133. Lestrade: MOBILE
  134. Everyone: NOISE
  135. Sherlock: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DICKS
  136. Cabbie: come away with me, in the night
  137. Sherlock: ok
  138. ~DRIVING~
  139. Cabbie: CLEVER SHIT
  140. Sherlock: BORING
  141. Cabbie: pick a pill any pill
  142. Sherlock: CLEVERER SHIT
  143. Cabbie: pick a pill anyway
  144. Sherlock: sounds like fun
  145. Cabbie: SUCKER -
  146. John: I SAVE YOU
  147. Cabbie: /dead
  148. Sherlock: that's so raven
  149. ~LATER~
  150. Lestrade: tell me the things
  151. Sherlock: look at my fucking ugly blanket
  152. Lestrade: oh jesus
  153. Sherlock: heyyyy john
  154. John: heyyyyyy Sherlock
  155. Sherlock: you saved me
  156. John: for a minute there I thought my princess was in another castle
  157. Sherlock: what
  158. John: what
  159. Mycroft: hey gurl
  160. Sherlock: fuck off bro
  161. John: why didn't you tell me he was your brother?
  162. Sherlock: because he smells
  163. Mycroft: you're so mean
  164. Sherlock: lol John let's go get Chinese
  165. John: ok
  166. ~BITCHIN SLOW WALK~
  167. YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH
Posted 6 days ago

theconsultingrenegade:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

image

(Source: meidosuji)